Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? Then may you also do good who are accustomed to do evil. Jeremiah 13:23 (NKJV)

This clearly shows that it’s difficult for those who perpetuate evil, to change.

God ordained marriage for bliss, he instituted the first marriage in the Garden of Eden. Genesis 1:28a

God is interested in the advancement of mankind; through marriage as an institution, however, man has chosen to shatter this beautiful institution. It’s saddening to know that divorce is on the prowl.

Many marriages have continued to crumble on the basis of infidelity, violence, economic hardship, incompatibility, and so on. While many have lost their lives, by the reason of a wrong marriage.

Hence, as singles, it’s important to look before you leap. You need to have seeing eyes, hearing ears, and a heart that conceives so that you can decode the red or green flags.

What are Red Flags?
A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself; The simple pass on and are punished. Proverbs 27:12 (NKJV)

Red flags are early danger signals in a relationship. They are warning signs, that indicate there would be problems in the future.

There are some obvious red flags, which send a warning of “never get married to those set of individuals”, some of them include;

• A person of a different faith (Amos 3:3)
• A domineering person
• A non-family-oriented person
• A person who is not proud of their intending spouse
• A person who never listens to anyone
• A person who is not physically attracted to an intending spouse
• A dishonest person
• A person who has zero respect for boundaries

Some subtle red flags include: 

• Personality clash
• Mental illness
• Emotional abuse

What are Green Flags?

Green Flags on the other hand, are positive indicators of long time compatibility of a relationship.

Some of them include or can be found in the following cases;

• Mental/intellectual attraction
• Physical attraction
• A person who accommodates your visions and dreams
• A person who respects physical boundaries
• A lover of God

It’s important to note that as Christians in a relationship, it’s normal to desire to explore sexual activities, however, the Bible remains our guideline. It says to flee fornication. Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NKJV).

By and large, never leave out the “God factor” and duly seek counselling. It’s also key to define your purpose and deal with your pain and past before going into marriage. Marriage is blissful if done the “God-way”.

Sermon excerpt from the University of Marriage Singles’ Conference – Saturday 13th May 2023

Watch this Sermon here.